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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Executive Team Release [Unauthorized], Alien vs. Predator: The Musical (Part 2), Alien vs Predator: The Musical (Part 1), Alien Vs Predator / Spreadsheet: The Musical (Prequel), Like A Stogie, Dark Side of the Room, XELP, Black Angus II, and 1 more.
1. |
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2. |
Overture
04:01
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Alien versus predator
There’s nothing betterer
Alien and predator
Ain't no competitor
Everyone knows franchises are all the rage
They wanna turn the page
but they are a steadfast winner
Finger lickin’ chicken dinner
Alien versus predator
Don’t need an editor
Alien and predator
Don’t need an editor
Everyone knows franchises are all the rage...
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3. |
AVP Author [explicit]
04:25
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I am a impoverished teller of tales
looking for a project to generate some sales
I am also a singer of songs
looking for some weed to fill my bong
I will inhale deeply of my eccentric genius
And lament the state of my shriveled little penis
YEAH
Walking around broadway in an altered state
Suddenly it appeared before me, it can only be fate!
Nearly anything can be a musical right now
Hamilton, tootsie, mean girls, oh wow
So why not take a movie franchise and musical-fy it?
Why not? Why not? Who gives a shit?
YEAH
Why not? Why not? Who gives a shit? [what other people think]
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4. |
Finding A Franchise
03:34
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Everyone knows franchises all the rage
They all want to turn the page
but they are a steadfast winner
Finger lickin’ chicken dinner
which one/which one/which one should I choose
which one/which one/which one should I choose
I can’t/I can’t/I can’t afford to lose
Marvel’s good and those numbers are real
Star wars has universal appeal
Bond James Bond could be set to song
Pardon me while I load my bong
which one/which one/which one should I choose
I can’t/I can’t/I can’t afford to lose
Harry Potter would do valiantly
Fast and Furious: all about family
How bout singing robots in disguise?
Transformers: The musical! C’mon, guys!
which one/which one/which one should I choose
I can’t/I can’t/I can’t afford to lose
pirates of the caribbean? Mission impossible?
Are such things remotely plausible?
I need a franchise for every homo sapien
Hmmm….let’s see….what about Alien?
which one/which one/which one should I choose
I can’t/I can’t/I can’t afford to lose
That’s good ! That could work really well
But I need something more to make it sell
You probably know what I am headin’ for
ALIEN VS. PREDATOR
(coda)
There is no possible competitor
To a musical set to ALIEN VS. PREDATOR
I will make a call on my cellular
to secure the rights To ALIEN VS PREDATOR
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5. |
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Those mickey mouse motherfuckers will never play ball
And my production budget, it is so small
I need a pitch that that they cannot resist
I don’t want a letter titled cease and desist
Who owns derivative rights?
Who owns derivative rights?
Who owns derivative rights?
IT’s DIS-NEY
Who owns derivative rights?
Who owns derivative rights?
Who owns derivative rights?
IT’s DIS-NEY
Back in the day it was owned by 20th century Fox
Acquired by Disney, stockholders think it rocks
Huge entertainment monopolies might seem really great
But us small potatoes people, we cannot equate
Who owns derivative rights?
Who owns derivative rights?
Who owns derivative rights?
IT’s DIS-NEY
Who owns derivative rights?
Who owns derivative rights?
Who owns derivative rights?
IT’s DIS-NEY
(author has tantrum and smashes things on stage)
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6. |
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Why must you
Have it all
And drive others
straight to a wall
Did you really need
To have all the stuff
Were you afraid
We’d call your bluff
There’s no earthly reason for one multinational entertainment company to own so much
Theme parks, tv shows, movies, toys, do you have a grudge?
Why must you
Have it all
And drive others
straight to a wall
Did you really need
To have all the stuff
Were you afraid
We’d call your bluff
Did you really need
Both the xenomorph and the alien hunter as well?
Was it because
Of an insatiable deep rooted hunger and also because you smell?
Must you gobble up
every last franchise
Is there no room
for compromise
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7. |
AVP Main Theme
05:37
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I may as well try
There’s no reason why
Not to have a try
Before I fry or lie
I may as well try
There’s no reason why
Not to have a try
Before I fry or lie
There is no reason not to proceed and I will exceed
And get what I need to lead and also buy some weed
Also buy some weed
I will call the fancy attorney at disney
I will not sound flimsy and my pitch will have some whimsy
Bitch: have some whimsy
We will connect about the project with great respect
They will not reject or be circumspect
be circumspect and yet
Alien versus Predator there’s no betterer
It’s a brilliant metaphor for our nation’s character
Our nation’s character
Alien and predator
There’s nothing betterer
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8. |
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9. |
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Author:
I really appreciate you taking my call and want you to know above all
This concept which may seem derivative is bound to make the market inquisitive
As the post modern combination of franchises and musical theater surely symbolizes
The saturation of commercialism extended to a kind of fetishism
Attorney:
As the material in question is currently in our possession
I am certainly in obligation to prevent any litigation
That would certainly result were you not to consult
With the aforementioned owners of the material. Now please continue:
Author:
Right right got it so here’s the thing; I think this musical can really sing!
Hah ! get it? It’s a pun! No no really this is gonna be fun.
(to himself) keep it together you imbecile! Can’t you hear her tone is so serious and professional
Give her the pitch already! And whatever you do , don’t be unsteady
Attorney:
(to herself) My god if I had a dime for every nerd who thinks their ideas are worth my time
I’d be sitting on a small fortune and not suffering the exhaustion
From listening to every schmuck who thinks we should give a fuck
That their stupid fan fiction is considered an addiction. SIGH
Author:
So I’m thinking the original plot from the movie doesn’t contain the beauty
To be brought to the stage in this odd and jaded age
So what if instead the alien and predator becomes a kind of metaphor
For the two party system to which we are all victim
One hunts for prey and other kills for sport
And we only elect one because we have no other resort
Attorney:
Wait wait wait let me get this straight
you think this story can be political allegory and about the hypocritical
Ways in which we attain a sense of agency only to quite shamefully
Be buffeted about by dueling powers that beyond any shadow of doubt
Don’t give a damn for the common man
Do I got that right?
Author:
Yes yes something like that
It’s less about extraterrestrial combat
And more about republican versus democrat
Attorney:
Oh.
Yeah ok.
Well send me a treatment and a budget
And we’ll get back to about our final judgment
Thank you
(both)
bye
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10. |
Brainstorm
03:28
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Instrumental
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11. |
Drafting [explicit]
02:34
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I have no shame
I gave it up
With the fucks I no longer give
And all things relative
In my domain
I don’t need acclaim
I gave it up
When my dreams died
And my French it fried
And then you sighed
Ahhhhhhhhhh
I’m drafting
I’m drafting
I’m crafting
I’m crafting
A masterpiece of everything that has come before
And everything to follow
I know it’s a hard pill to swallow
Because it is so low brow
And yet high art somehow
Cannot convey the complexity
Of what’s in my brain chemistry
And
I’m drafting etc
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12. |
Revision
01:43
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Revise revise
To what you devise
whatever is clever
For the franchise
whatever is clever
For the franchise
Do not agonize
But do empathize
With the audience
And their potential lack of tolerance
Do not agonize
But do empathize
With the audience
And their potential lack of tolerance
With the audience
And their potential lack of tolerance
Revise, revise
To what you devise
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13. |
Finalization
03:44
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Finalize Finalize
To what you devise
And whatever is clever
For the franchise
whatever is clever
For the franchise
Do not agonize
But do empathize
With the audience
And their potential lack of tolerance
Finalize , finalize
To what you devise
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14. |
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15. |
AREAS AND ACOTH
05:52
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Syntax Sum number 1 and number 2
Syntax Sum number 1 and number 2
(repeat)
A1 A2 A3 A4
B1 B2 B3 B4
C1 C2 C3 C4
D1 D2 D3 D4
SUMIF MAX COUNT
IF AVERAGE SIN
AREAS and ACOTH
AREAS and ACOTH
VALUE BASE CUBESETCOUNT
MODE TEXT YEARFRAC
UNICODE TRIM NOW
UNICODE TRIM NOW
MODE MINA GESTEP
EXACT DCOUNT TTEST
IMAGINARY SWITCH ROWS
IMAGINARY SWITCH ROWS
(repeat)
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16. |
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Deep Space: Numbers and Blood
Part 1 - Contemplation
It’s ‘bout time
A solution
And it won’t take long
Unless you wait long
A simple save there
It’s working now
Ready now
Opportunity laid there
Until summing comes
Too blank, deny
Blank cause
It turns out
Go to them
It turns out
In blank space
It turns out
In blank space……
Part 2 - Falling under the spell
(instrumental)
Part 3 - Succumb to the Spreadsheet
Reflected Glass
Under a clear deep sea
Of squares and numbers
For you, I bleed
Part 4 - Computations are Made
(instrumental)
Part 5 - The Warning
Don’t breathe too hard
‘Cause - you might be alive
You don’t need a sign from them
In the lines, we’re equal, insane
But the ruler comes again!
We stand calmly before you now
And can’t resist it, don’t you see?
If you can go through with this
Keep calm, don’t ignore!
Eating spaces in the threes
It made so much sense to me
After it was sub-divide
I thought I would never see:
Part 6 - Manic Realization, Data Output/Purge
Face of numbers.
Facts sleep.
The air sees.
No, actually, a small, excited leg.
Lots can see.
Days can see.
Days see areas, performances do perform.
A nervous air.
Zero shy lines.
Some ninety-six, nice, I got that
My twenty two legs.
His eighteen confused tables.
Our five stubborn chairs.
Legs see relaxation.
Confusing eyes sing without a care..
Days see areas.
Cats see areas.
Cats can explain.
Tables can explain.
Confusing eyes sing without a care..
A nervous air.
Zero shy lines.
Some ninety-six, nice, I got that
My twenty two legs.
His eighteen confused tables.
Our five stubborn chairs.
Legs see relaxation.
Confusing eyes sing without a care…
Face of numbers.
Facts sleep.
The air sees.
No actually a small, excited leg.
Lots can see.
Days can see.
Days see areas, performances do perform.
A nervous air.
Zero shy lines.
Some ninety-six, nice, I got that
My twenty two legs.
Days see areas.
(His eighteen confused tables.)
Cats see areas.
(Our five stubborn chairs.)
Cats can explain.
(Legs see relaxation.)
Tables can explain.
(Confusing eyes sing without a care...)
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17. |
Do I Count?
05:23
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After hours, everyone’s gone home.
It’s just me and the Numbers.
It all made sense but, now it’s gone.
How can I build this alone.
Do I count?
There as a Ruler
You stand on your own
There’s not a fresh statement
You’re in it alone
Chords and binary
You can’t attest
“..I know”
My friends are all with the families
I’m thinking about it, how did I get here?
Parts of motors, I believe.
How can I really examine?
Shifting through when it’s all done
I don’t believe I can perform
Working once, working, yes
Soon it will be morning, mourning done.
There as a Ruler
You stand on your own
There’s not a fresh statement
You’re in it alone
Chords and binary
You can’t attest
“...I know”
Do I count?
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18. |
Functions
04:07
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Made it through the day
Full swing score again
I went in alone and
Out the other end
Functions made of glass
In a clear deep sea
All part of syntax
In par-en-the-sis
We’re ready now
It’s all laid there
Until the sum
It comes there, to them
Too blank - deny!
A blanked cause
It turns out? Blank space.
We’ve made it through this
Computations free
No cross function here
It’s all plain to see
Without Sub-divide
Sure, we lose our way
Coming out on top
That will be the day
Computations, computations, functions made, functions made, functions…
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19. |
I Got A Number
01:38
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We stand so calmly before
And can’t resist, don’t you see?
If you go, through with this
Please keep calm, don’t ignore!
Had a good idea
Featured in my fears
We are feeling so high
Heavy rain coming out of my eyes
Blind sweat out of my ears
Why do they synthesize?
When it’s between the lines?
We hear what you say
...but, I got a number…
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20. |
The Numbers
03:41
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Getting in a table
Getting absolute
Value of one, this value is sum of one, too.
Returned absolute value
Select and press
Select and press
Select and press
Express the danger
By putting in order!
Don’t be wise
It’s size of cell - it will consume you!
Don’t be wise
It’s size of cell - it will consume you!
Express the danger by putting in order.
Getting a thrill
Absolute list
254 - or I snore!
This value is sum of one
This value is sum of one
This value is sum of one….
Select and press
Select and press
Get.
Right.
In.
The way.
of The Numbers.
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21. |
We Are All Clowns
05:50
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Since the beginning of time
The lines intersected
When you felt before it was
Is not very interested
Blowing away
Until you stop what it would be
Don’t look too hard
Or you might be alive
I mean...
We are bait
Walking in the rows
And I command you!
“Over the hills”, I hear them say
What else can I do?
Please tell them I hope they had a good time
At our expense
When we reach you in the lines
It won’t be the ‘best’
Maybe it’s me
Or maybe it’s that
I don’t really like to be there
Something isn’t all right
To wander around the lights at night
You think you are frustrated?
Look over here!
A blind spot
Above my ear
How could you not see the way
It is the columns over
It's the nuances of it all
There is only one, only one expression that I could really say right now:
It’s…(sigh)...It’s…..:
WAGGGAHAGAAHAGAAHAGAHAHAGHAGAHA
See them break, See them Break, Seen them Break
Walk along hey, Chalk along hey, Check my knees, Check my knees
1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2
Don’t sow! (repeat)
Note Stage Direction:
[people running into positions during the chaos]
[ - - Buttcheeks are bared - - ]
[Blackout!]
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22. |
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Joining the lines
Walking up on me
I’m sitting by
Long, the tenderings
Something Inside
On the bottom rung
It just ain’t right
All bound and headed
Towards the cheek
Return to tell
I came up with the three
Without my pride
Waiting on the wing
Off to the side
Only tough-neck lean
Until I find
All bound up and headed
Towards the cheek
There are the lines
Along the sided wing
Into the bend
Reaching in the weeds
Science is fiction
Forgotten here
Meeting of the minds?
Not here.
Ain’t no butt cheek high enough……..in the city
Ain’t no butt cheek high enough……..in the city
Ain’t no butt cheek high…………
Ahhhhs…..
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23. |
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24. |
The Submission!
04:10
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Instrumental
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Autobody New York, New York
Autobody has displayed their original blend of jagged song craft, experimental music and humor since first playing as a
quartet in Brooklyn in the mid-90s. Since then, they have branched out as "It's Your Fault Theater", a multinational collective of co-conspirators who write avant-garde music for musicals.
Autobody includes members of Fly Ashtray, Phoaming Edison, Dire Wolves and Dymaxion.
... more
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