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Our author updates the lawyer on how the narrative is unfolding, but the lawyer was promised a political metaphor and end product is vague and kind of half-assed, and she wants changes.

lyrics

Author:
Hi there, I hope you are well
I’m calling you just to foretell
Of the great advances being made
On this play, a veritable cavalcade
Of song and dance with an action sci-fi twist
The final product will be impossible to resist

Lawyer:
While I’m happy to hear about your optimism
Forgive me if I express some skepticism
When I approved the budget and treatment
My expectation was the political elements would be more frequent
Let’s make sure we are on the same page
Tell me the story, how will it unfold on the stage

Author:
Sure, sure, of course that makes sense
And it’s true that in light of recent events
I have made some changes to the story
Although it still functions as an allegory
It occurred to me later that for broad market appeal
Perhaps we should attempt to be more genteel

Lawyer:
Like I said, tell me the narrative
Perhaps then we can arrive at a hypothetical imperative

Author:
Right, right, that’s what we want and need
Ok the story--as we agreed
Rather than set the story in the south pole
As happened in the movie, and in the name of quality control
We changed location to good old New York City
And the story begins in a humble Deli
A bodega, where you might fill your belly
With Goya products and other everyday things
Except this store has a secret from which the action flings
because you see the store owner has a side job
Selling ancient artifacts to any old slob
With sufficient capital to make the purchase
Without any attention to the ultimate purpose
And so he has come upon an artifact of great import
Both Alien and Predator want it and will go to any resort
Including killing all the bodega customers and employees
Except the artifact is nowhere to be found and so they flee
An intrepid newspaper editor catches wind of the massacre
And is told to report on the story by his manager
In doing so, he stumbles upon the artifact
From the bodega that has been ransacked
….with me so far?

Lawyer:
I was promised a story functions at a level allegorical
This is sounding more like a story that is horrible
Broad market appeal? How do you define this?
It will be hard to convince my people to be behind this
Where’s the conflict? I hear only a story that is random
I’m inclined to consider this project one to abandon

Author:
I appreciate the feedback--Really I do
But please allow me to continue
What you seek is forthcoming
Along with tunes you will soon be humming!
Let me rush ahead a bit further in the play
Following a bloodbath on the number 7 subway
Perpetuated by our fierce extraterrestrial visitors
There is a development most sinister
You see, the artifact has been procured by a certain villain
One who is real and has amassed billions
None other than jared Kushner makes an appearance
A person that we can all look upon with abhorrence
He has the artifact and is held up in Trump tower
Where he wants to proclaim supreme power
But the editor goes there to confront the bastard
But the editor get gets his brains totally plastered
In a slaughter by the predator seeking the artifact
And Jared finds himself defeated singled handed
By an alien who has into his face, implanted
An egg from which will explode yet another menace
And mayhem and death most horrendous
So you see--it will be exciting, musical, AND political
I hope this assuages your concerns that are critical

Lawyer:
Mmmmm…. I gotta say: not so much!
The whole Jared thing seems like a crutch
Propping up the play with a thin semblance of political commentary
The whole plot line seems totally arbitrary
I would like see more--when can you have a revision completed
I am discouraged but not yet entirely defeated

Author:
OK in a week or so I can make substantial edits
To the story where you think it lacks merit
I know then you will see the play at its full potential
And the political metaphor will be essential rather than tangential

Lawyer:
I sincerely hope so--for the play’s sake
Otherwise I will have to chalk this up to a small mistake
Call me when you have a new version
I am expecting a full incursion
Into new terrain heretofore totally unknown
A sci fi musical political milestone
Bye now
Author:
Bye?

credits

from Alien vs Predator: The Musical (Part 1), released June 28, 2021
music and lyrics by Dave Abel
Dave Abel: guitars, bass, drums
Eric Marc Cohen: drums
Sheila Bosco: keys, synth, drum machine
Rando Calrissian: vocals
Cathy Dinglebutt: vocals

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Autobody / It's Your Fault Theater New York, New York

Autobody has displayed their original blend of jagged song craft, experimental music and humor since first playing as a quartet in Brooklyn in the mid-90s. Since then, they have branched out as "It's Your Fault Theater", a multinational collective of co-conspirators who write avant-garde music for musicals.
Autobody includes members of Fly Ashtray, Phoaming Edison, Dire Wolves and Dymaxion. ... more

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