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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Executive Team Release [Unauthorized], Alien vs. Predator: The Musical (Part 2), Alien vs Predator: The Musical (Part 1), Alien Vs Predator / Spreadsheet: The Musical (Prequel), Like A Stogie, Dark Side of the Room, XELP, Black Angus II, and 1 more.
1. |
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I’ve come from far away to latch onto your face
To lay an egg and destroy your so called human race
Sleeping in my pyramid cozy beneath the ice
Puny humans have awakened me and they will pay the price
Silly biped lifeform now you got me pissed off
Like a crawdad, your head I will twist off
I am the ultimate apex OOPS I almost said it
I know you are literally dying to give me credit
As the ultimate in evolution a perfect weapon of death
Scream for mercy it will be your last breath
Endoparasitoid extraterrestrial species
You hunter aliens you ain’t nothing but feces
I am a predator and I’m so much betterer than you
because you're a bug; an insect you’re something I scrape off my shoe
You may have the numbers but you’ll never have the style
Now stand back while your corpse I gladly defile
Ah that was lovely now what was I doing before?
Oh yeah now I remember I was going to go to war
With these buggy slimeball pointy poky stupid ass weak ass punks
Pardon me my lovely audience while I slice them into chunks
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2. |
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Predators and Aliens
Why can't we be friends ?
Predators and Aliens
Why does it have to end?
Tomorrow is another day
To slay and pay with
Blood and guts
And slime and stuff
Why can't we be friends?
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3. |
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Cool wash
Slow fades
House right
Splitting stage
No need for separation
Between new scene crossfades
Tight spotlight on the Alien’s face
He stands upstage
Right on place
Cool wash on upstage right
Corner to bring them back
A Pyramid mold
A Pyramid mold
A Pyramid mold
A Pyramid mold
Twenty-eight secret doors
Infinity mirror tunnel on!
Weird slimy eggs with puppet alien inside
Eight secret floors - how can this turn out right??
An Alien Egg
An Alien Egg
An Alien Egg
An Alien Egg
3D hologram at night
It’s center bright
Follow design
On the right
A neutral wash
On the right
A neutral wash
A cool blue
Stage left
2 meters wide
2 meters wide
2 meters wide
3 meters deep
2 meters wide
3 meters deep
A counter weight, coming on cue
And it fails to be trued
Over radio I hear it said
What else can I do??
I wheel the weights
I wheel the weights
I don’t wait
I’m not awake
A coffee break
A smoke break
It doesn’t help
We have to work!
Putting down the Marley floor
Kick it along until it’s scored
12 hours ‘til the end of the day
Props flown high and the canopy stayed
Up in the fly
Check all the ties
A source four
Fresnel‘s wide
The moving walls
The moving walls
The moving walls
The moving walls
All fly systems soared
We need more counterweights
To hold the pyramid mold
Of ancient walls in place
A 2000 foot tunnel to the pyramid
A 2000 foot tunnel to the pyramid
A 2000 foot tunnel to the pyramid
A 2000 foot tunnel to the pyramid…..
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4. |
Call with the Attorney
07:26
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Author:
Hi there, I hope you are well
I’m calling you just to foretell
Of the great advances being made
On this play, a veritable cavalcade
Of song and dance with an action sci-fi twist
The final product will be impossible to resist
Lawyer:
While I’m happy to hear about your optimism
Forgive me if I express some skepticism
When I approved the budget and treatment
My expectation was the political elements would be more frequent
Let’s make sure we are on the same page
Tell me the story, how will it unfold on the stage
Author:
Sure, sure, of course that makes sense
And it’s true that in light of recent events
I have made some changes to the story
Although it still functions as an allegory
It occurred to me later that for broad market appeal
Perhaps we should attempt to be more genteel
Lawyer:
Like I said, tell me the narrative
Perhaps then we can arrive at a hypothetical imperative
Author:
Right, right, that’s what we want and need
Ok the story--as we agreed
Rather than set the story in the south pole
As happened in the movie, and in the name of quality control
We changed location to good old New York City
And the story begins in a humble Deli
A bodega, where you might fill your belly
With Goya products and other everyday things
Except this store has a secret from which the action flings
because you see the store owner has a side job
Selling ancient artifacts to any old slob
With sufficient capital to make the purchase
Without any attention to the ultimate purpose
And so he has come upon an artifact of great import
Both Alien and Predator want it and will go to any resort
Including killing all the bodega customers and employees
Except the artifact is nowhere to be found and so they flee
An intrepid newspaper editor catches wind of the massacre
And is told to report on the story by his manager
In doing so, he stumbles upon the artifact
From the bodega that has been ransacked
….with me so far?
Lawyer:
I was promised a story functions at a level allegorical
This is sounding more like a story that is horrible
Broad market appeal? How do you define this?
It will be hard to convince my people to be behind this
Where’s the conflict? I hear only a story that is random
I’m inclined to consider this project one to abandon
Author:
I appreciate the feedback--Really I do
But please allow me to continue
What you seek is forthcoming
Along with tunes you will soon be humming!
Let me rush ahead a bit further in the play
Following a bloodbath on the number 7 subway
Perpetuated by our fierce extraterrestrial visitors
There is a development most sinister
You see, the artifact has been procured by a certain villain
One who is real and has amassed billions
None other than jared Kushner makes an appearance
A person that we can all look upon with abhorrence
He has the artifact and is held up in Trump tower
Where he wants to proclaim supreme power
But the editor goes there to confront the bastard
But the editor get gets his brains totally plastered
In a slaughter by the predator seeking the artifact
And Jared finds himself defeated singled handed
By an alien who has into his face, implanted
An egg from which will explode yet another menace
And mayhem and death most horrendous
So you see--it will be exciting, musical, AND political
I hope this assuages your concerns that are critical
Lawyer:
Mmmmm…. I gotta say: not so much!
The whole Jared thing seems like a crutch
Propping up the play with a thin semblance of political commentary
The whole plot line seems totally arbitrary
I would like see more--when can you have a revision completed
I am discouraged but not yet entirely defeated
Author:
OK in a week or so I can make substantial edits
To the story where you think it lacks merit
I know then you will see the play at its full potential
And the political metaphor will be essential rather than tangential
Lawyer:
I sincerely hope so--for the play’s sake
Otherwise I will have to chalk this up to a small mistake
Call me when you have a new version
I am expecting a full incursion
Into new terrain heretofore totally unknown
A sci fi musical political milestone
Bye now
Author:
Bye?
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5. |
Newspaper Editor
02:37
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I'm just a newspaper editor,
Lookin' for an alien or predator,
in a scoop that'll change the...world!
To show that we're not the type of race,
just sitting here in space,
on this beautiful blue...pearl!
Now I'm in a smelly trash bin,
amongst the rats and the sirens,
and behold what is this...here,
It got some strange writing,
and its glowing red lighting,
mayhap its some type of E.T. sphere,
That bodega bath,
wont be played just for laughs,
On tomorrow's headline page,
Cause there's predators and aliens,
And I've found the Holy Grail-ian,
To herald a whole new age
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6. |
Glow Tape
01:33
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Playing around the glow tape!
Slip and slide on the glow tape!
Cartoons alive
Jumping through stage
Spiders and flies
On the glow tape!
Come out from the cracks
Termites and moths
Spiders and flies
On the glow tape
Cartoons alive
On the glow tape
Cartoons alive!!
Playing around the glow tape!
Slip and slide on the glow tape!
Cartoons alive
Jumping through stage
Spiders and flies
On the glow tape!
Come out - from the cracks!
Termites and moths
Spiders and flies
On the glow tape
Cartoons alive
On the glow tape
Cartoons alive!!
Glow Tape!
Glow Tape!
Glow Tape!
Glow Tape!
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7. |
I'm better than this
02:48
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I’m better than this, I think I know
Concerned that this play really stinks oh no
This job is jive
But I gotta stay alive
This story is bunk
But I was in a funk
So I said yes
So I said yes
In retrospect
What about my reputation
I need a libation
To think bout the situation
I hope this works out
I’m better than this, I think I know
My castmates: they’re ok
And we’re not off broadway
So why do I complain
I gotta maintain
So I said yes
So I said yes
In retrospect
In retrospect
I’m better than this, I think I know
Concerned this play stinks oh uh oh no
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8. |
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I've got the goods
I've got the shit
I'm so excited
This is it!
Time for a drink
And a moment to think
Not so fast
Those things are mine
You tried to cheat me
This whole time
Oh yeah? Says you!
I know kung fu!
You're going down
You fucking clown
Doof doof ugh thud!
Out the door covered with blood
Don't turn around or you will see
A Predator and your pants you'll pee
Chop chop chop such a mess and shame
One more loser in this game
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9. |
Loco Gobo
04:38
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We need a look
A different take
Blood and guts
But can’t look fake
We don’t have funds
And no black light
Think of a plan
We have no time
Hung on their left side, slice of life,
Hanging in the rafters, secure props, cut it with a knife,
Locked in place with safety chains, bringing tiger stripes
I have a plan
Using gobos
It looks like water and fire
Across the stage
It has some style
With an R48
Hung on their left side, slice of life,
Rapture in the rafters, secure props, cut it with a knife,
Locked in place with safety chains, bringing tiger stripes
Clamp it in
We ran out of frames
This gobo is hot
It’s burning my hands
We can do this
Without a hitch
Ready for run through
Let it begin
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10. |
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Franchises are golden
We all are beholden
It is a bondage
We must acknowledge
The original story as it was told
Let it gracefully unfold
According to intent
And inferred by the consent
Of the owner of rights
And he's always right
But
This is madness
And will bring fans sadness
Unbelievable crassness
To please the masses
Who don't see the genius
Of the original thesis
The movie on which this is based
Should not be debased
With political metaphor
Instead of backstory of predator
Nor does it make any sense
To enter into defense
Of this author’s vision
Which is really stoned indecision
And avoiding what must be done
And singing the song
that must be sung….
But
this is madness
And will bring fans sadness
Unbelievable crassness
To please the masses
Who don't see the genius
Of the original thesis
But I do
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11. |
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Predators and Aliens
Why can't we be friends ?
Predators and Aliens
Why does it have to end?
They say that we have to fight
I don’t think that is quite right
And I believe that someday
We will be best friends
Predators and Aliens
Why can't we be friends ?
Predators and Aliens
Why does it have to end?
They say that we have to fight
I don’t think that is quite right
And I believe that someday
We will be best friends
(Maybe more)
(With benefits )
(more than friends)
(so much more)
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12. |
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The train is late
It feels like days
So tired of these
Damned delays
What is that sound
What is that slime?
I think I'm gonna
Lose my mind.
There's scary creatures
Everywhere
We gotta run
Away from here
Look out now
They're over there
Into the tunnels
Just follow the tracks
Crackheads, roaches
Cats and Rats
Not feeling so great
Hold on! Just wait!
Look out! Slime!
You've sealed your fate.
No no!
His face!
Let's get out of this place!
(Woman Warrior)
My boyfriend was
an archeologist
But suddenly_ he's gone
So I will raise
My tiny little fist
And begin to sing_ this song
Aliens beware
I'm coming for you
It really isn't fair
Now he's covered in goo
I will hunt you down
to the ends of the earth
And squash you like_ a bug
I'll show you that
My boyfriend's face
Is certainly not for you_ to hug
Oh Aliens
Be very afraid-y
Yes, Aliens
This a-lady
Is coming for you!
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13. |
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Room quiet for AVP sound check!
Stand By for Sound Cue 15
"Standing by for Cue 15!
"
Sound Cue 15.......GO!
***************************************
Okay, that's good, moving on!
Stand by for Cue 16 in the Orchestra Pit
"Standing by in the Pit!
"
Sound Cue 16....GO!
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14. |
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Predators and Aliens
Why can't we be friends ?
Predators and Aliens
Why does it have to end?
Our love was never meant to be
But when I look at you all I see
Is my yearning to be free
To love you for all time X2
Predators and Aliens
Why can't we be friends ?
Predators and Aliens
Why does it have to end?
Your inner mouth is made for a kiss
And your slime it brings me bliss
I want to hold your spikey bits
And love you for all time x ∞
(We'll run away)
(Into space)
(I gotta ship)
(We’ll make it work)
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15. |
Ladies of Earth
02:45
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Ladies of earth
You've proved your worth
With these weapons
You can defend
Humanity
Until the end
From aliens and
all their goo
And eggs and stuff
It's up to you
So predators and Aliens
Can never ever be friends
We've got them all
We think we have.
We're off to a far and distant world
To be with our own kind
If we left anything behind
We hope that you won't mind
Ladies of earth
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16. |
An Egg is Born
09:49
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Part I - Incubation
Waiting for your moment to come
You’re stuck in the boredom
waiting for the right moment
Waiting for them to come
Can the boredom end?
You’re just babes in a shell
As far as the eye can see
Where did your mum go?
What does the future hold?
When in the night will you be freed?
Taking cues from starlight
and rogue oology
Part II - Suspended Animation
Enter debate:
Are we alone?
What does it all hold?
An importance on it’s own?
With all this time
When to be born?
You lay in an egg, in a cave, in a storm
You weren’t asked to be put in this place
How can you possibly be safe?
Part III - Declaration
In a cave in the ground
In the cave lair I stand
With a body and soul
I cannot understand
Wrapped up and grabbed from behind
Oh innocent life I find
Oh innocent life I find
Can you decide?
A crowd, a guide
All strangers, underground
Born into a world
Without your future known
How the goo does flow
How the goo does flow…..
Part VI - The Birth
oh egg
I beg
you stop
Hand take away
blow the horn
winter is born
---Be born!
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17. |
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This is bullshit.
This is bullshit!
These costumes are so hot and sweaty
I don't think that the set is ready
We haven't been paid for several weeks
The only ones who will see this
Are losers and freaks!
I had to sell my car!
I had to sell my bike!
This ain't funny
Where's our money?
Aliens and Predators on strike!
But it's almost opening night!
Hold on, it'll be alright
Nah, this is bullshit, see?
We're not gonna work for free!
This ain't funny
Where's our money?
But it's almost opening night!
Aliens and Predators on strike!
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18. |
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Since the beginning of time
Light circuits
Cross connected
What you thought was easy was
Well, not very well inspected
This house, this stage
Where are they now
Where they said they would be
Don’t look too hard
‘Cause we”ll be - across the street!!!
We all stand
Walking in the rows
And “I command you!”
Over the radio, I heard them say!
What else can I do???
Please tell them I hope they had a good time
At our expense
When you read through all the lines
They’ll figure out the rest
Maybe it’s me
Or maybe it’s that
They don’t even want to be here
Something isn’t right
We wander under the stage at night
Where are they?
Are they coming back?
Why are we the only ones here?
There is only one, only one expression that I could really say right now:
It’s…...............
(You won’t) see it staged, see it staged, see it staged
So long Alien, so long Alien, so long Alien
Checkin my P’s, checkin my P’s, checkin my P’s
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19. |
Disney pulls out
02:38
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Hello I was hoping to reach you in person
It seems the issues previously named have worsened
I don't see any other reasonable alternative
Than the decision most conservative
Given the absence of a resolution
We have reached the conclusion
You must hereby cease all rehearsals
Of the production
Good bye
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20. |
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Predators and Aliens
Why can't we be friends ?
Predators and Aliens
It seems we are at the end
I tried and tried to write a play
But everyone but me got in the way
There is nothing left to do but say
Better luck next time
(I guess so)
Better luck next time
(if there’s one)
Predators and Aliens
Where are all my friends ?
Predators and Aliens
It seems this is the end
Between the lawyer with an axe to grind
And the actors who undermined
And the tech crew who could not streamline
I’m left with nothing but my bong
(and a song)
nothing but my bong
(you’ve heard it before)
my bong and this sad song
(could be a meme)
my bong and this sad song
(repeated theme)
Predators and Aliens
This is the very end
Predators and Aliens
I am all out of friends
I’ve back where I started; maybe worse
Laid out funds I cannot reimburse
No one left who I can coerce
I think I’ll just get high
(until I die)
Why not just get high
(nothing to lose)
Nothing to rectify
(add some booze)
Sing this sad sad song
(sing it now)
Hit this skull skull bong
(how now brown cow)
Smoke myself stupid
(hit that shit)
It is undisputed
(yeah it is )
That I lost it all
(nothing left)
Lack the wherewithal
(what he said)
To start again
(why bother)
Because no friends
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Autobody / It's Your Fault Theater New York, New York
Autobody has displayed their original blend of jagged song craft, experimental music and humor since first playing as a
quartet in Brooklyn in the mid-90s. Since then, they have branched out as "It's Your Fault Theater", a multinational collective of co-conspirators who write avant-garde music for musicals.
Autobody includes members of Fly Ashtray, Phoaming Edison, Dire Wolves and Dymaxion.
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