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Our author's conversation with the disney lawyer. He gets the green light to send a script and a budget! Now he has to write the damn thing! Maybe a fistful of gummies will help...

lyrics

Author:
I really appreciate you taking my call and want you to know above all
This concept which may seem derivative is bound to make the market inquisitive
As the post modern combination of franchises and musical theater surely symbolizes
The saturation of commercialism extended to a kind of fetishism
Attorney:
As the material in question is currently in our possession
I am certainly in obligation to prevent any litigation
That would certainly result were you not to consult
With the aforementioned owners of the material. Now please continue:
Author:
Right right got it so here’s the thing; I think this musical can really sing!
Hah ! get it? It’s a pun! No no really this is gonna be fun.
(to himself) keep it together you imbecile! Can’t you hear her tone is so serious and professional
Give her the pitch already! And whatever you do , don’t be unsteady
Attorney:
(to herself) My god if I had a dime for every nerd who thinks their ideas are worth my time
I’d be sitting on a small fortune and not suffering the exhaustion
From listening to every schmuck who thinks we should give a fuck
That their stupid fan fiction is considered an addiction. SIGH
Author:
So I’m thinking the original plot from the movie doesn’t contain the beauty
To be brought to the stage in this odd and jaded age
So what if instead the alien and predator becomes a kind of metaphor
For the two party system to which we are all victim
One hunts for prey and other kills for sport
And we only elect one because we have no other resort
Attorney:
Wait wait wait let me get this straight
you think this story can be political allegory and about the hypocritical
Ways in which we attain a sense of agency only to quite shamefully
Be buffeted about by dueling powers that beyond any shadow of doubt
Don’t give a damn for the common man
Do I got that right?
Author:
Yes yes something like that
It’s less about extraterrestrial combat
And more about republican versus democrat
Attorney:
Oh.
Yeah ok.
Well send me a treatment and a budget
And we’ll get back to about our final judgment
Thank you
(both)
bye

credits

from Alien Vs Predator / Spreadsheet: The Musical (Prequel), track released October 31, 2020
Music/lyrics: Dave Abel
Dave Abel: bass, guitar, synth, vocals; Eric Marc Cohen: drumset

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Autobody / It's Your Fault Theater New York, New York

Autobody has displayed their original blend of jagged song craft, experimental music and humor since first playing as a quartet in Brooklyn in the mid-90s. Since then, they have branched out as "It's Your Fault Theater", a multinational collective of co-conspirators who write avant-garde music for musicals.
Autobody includes members of Fly Ashtray, Phoaming Edison, Dire Wolves and Dymaxion. ... more

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